What is being a friend?

I have a friend who is going through a hard time right now. Not so that the outside world would know what is going on. From that point of view one would think she has the world by the tail. But I have been where she is right now. Actually at about her age come to think about it. Some of our situations are the same so I can identify with her very closely. She doesn't know where she fits into this world and that brings with it feelings of frustration, anxiety and depression.

What changed for me? I had to make some radical changes in my life. It didn't come over night. I had to grow up. I was 40 years old and spoiled rotten and full of potential that I hadn't allowed to be tapped. Someone gave some good advice. They said 'write down the 5 things that are most important to you. It can be anything from what kind of image do you want people to have of you to what could you do for 8 hours a day, to how would you want your children to remember you if you died prematurely?' These simple questions put my world into perspective. I didn't like who I was when I started asking the hard questions. I wasn't living up to my potential. I didn't like my appearance. I wasn't allowing myself to be stimulated intellectually, I had gotten lazy and my spiritual life was a mess. I had very little relationship with God which I figured out later was the root of my problem. When I got right with God the other parts of my life started straightening out. I asked forgiveness to people I had wronged, namely my ex husband and to a lesser extent, my children. But as the love and acceptance of God became real to me I started to forgive myself for real and imagined wrongdoings. When I offered forgiveness to those around me I was blessed with forgiveness, too.
Soon I was off anti depressants completely. I dropped 10 pounds and started dressing better. I quit worrying about myself and was able to let others into my life much more easily. My priorities changed considerably. My best friend was amazed at the kinder, gentler person I had become.

Needless to say I like myself more now and I don't sweat the small stuff as I used to. I'm not in control of it anyway. It's a daily lesson but each day I give all my experiences over to God. He's much better at these things than I am anyway. It didn't happen overnight but the journey has well been worth it.

My mother died when I was 24 and after that I had a hard time loving wholeheartedly because of the incredibly hurt that resulted from the loss of someone I loved so much. But God has shown me through his amazing love and acceptance that loving people is worth the risk. I now tell people freely and often how much I love them and that is huge for me.

My dear and wonderful friend, and when you hurt, I hurt. You are really okay. You have just lost your way a little, but God can put you on the path to peace and joy just as He did for me. I love you my friend.